If reenacted by teachers, the profound Nicholson statement, “You can’t handle the truth!” would startle some school leaders because, quite frankly, I have known some who can’t and don’t want to hear it. As an instructional coach, I have heard my share of the truth from teachers. My role affords me the opportunity to listen without judgement, without consequence, without retaliation. No matter the conversation, I listen with intent because their perceptions are their truth and this truth will shape many of their beliefs about our school system, culture, leadership, and future.
Highly effective people adhere to the habit of “seek first to understand”. Using probing questions, I gather details hoping to identify the breakdown, the derailment, when the truth was altered. I credit my reading of Fierce Conversations by Susan Scott which taught me to recognize there are multiple truths, each of us own a part of it. This interrogation of reality is often avoided or dismissed at onset, but all participants must be fully engaged to move forward. When I feel the need to interrupt the conversation, I remind myself the goal is not to defend my truth, but to provoke learning.
In an #atplc twitter chat a few weeks ago, @DCulberhouse tweeted “it’s better to hear what needs to be heard, rather than it be said in the parking lot, for it will be said.” Now that is truth! In this new year, I will live that mantra because in the end, I do want to know. Earlier this week, I confronted a truth that needed to be addressed. I won’t pretend it was perfect or painless. I still made mistakes and did not agree with everything said, but I invited my partner to respond, learned from it, accepted responsibility for my contribution to the issue, and enriched the relationship. It will be a conversation that I won’t soon forget; it could be the conversation that sets the norm to share the truth.
The truth is… I can handle it.
I Haven't Learned That Yet 